Father's day Present from 5 year old boy.

"Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer" (dash-doorhandle-and-bondo) 06/19/2016 at 15:28 • Filed to: None

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Happy Father’s day oppo Dads. Fatherly musings and a funny Dad Story at the bottom.

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A Stormtrooper doing sweet jumps on his dirtbike into my Father’s day cheeseburger. What can I say? my kids know what I like.

My Father left this world with what amounted to gallons of old spice, the old stuff in the white glass bottle. Turns out he hated that shit. But, he was ecstatic to get it all those father’s days in a row, all those years ago. And he hung onto it. Dad was a hockey player, a shiny suited 80s boss, a railroad man, sailor, schoolteacher, salesman, scrapper, captain of a couple of Canadian warships, Simpsons fan, lover of an unnecessary but solid bargain, and unchallenged king of dad jokes. Everyone on earth, save a truly humourous few, Found him hilarious. We never thought he was funny, but we have to give him that one, Dad was funny.

My dad loved kids. He only saw my first boy once as an infant, but now that I’ve got two boys of my own, I know he’d be down on the ground wrestling two wild boys and a dog until someone got hurt, then making the crying one laugh and repeating the cycle. I learned to Dad from one of the greats.

Dad was not into cars. His first was a 61 Vauxhall victor. It was a big-time piece of shit that needed items replaced/rewire/hit with mallet things on a weekly basis. Dad liked sensible economy cars that just worked. He could fix near anything pre-electronic but did not enjoy doing it. Once he became a shiny suited boss in the 80s, someone had to tell him that a 2 door stickshift, beige K-car was not a suitable executive ride. So, faith unshaken in Lee Iaccocca’s Chrysler he sold the 81 Reliant (his only real brand new car) and got a white 5th avenue. I hated that car, but mom and dad were blinded by the a/c and power everything. The fwd Bonneville that replaced it was way better. All pedestrian rides, when in command of a coastal defense vessel, he had FOUR 2,500 hp turbodiesels underfoot, and when in a hurry, there was a gas turbine that made some astronomical amount of power at the rate of $30,000 Canadian 1990's dollars per hour. So not-quite-200 horsepower cars did not impress him. He got us around in the following; a 75 yellow civic, two 81 k cars, the chrysler fifth, a 76 b210(superb, horribe-looking car), and a succession of real beaters in later years. He, much like myself was happy with an am radio and a window that cranked down. He also firmly beleived that a Firebird is not an investment, which is basically true.

Too many fun stories of Dad to tell, but a quick recap of of a camping story goes like this: My firend and I were about 10 or so, and around the fire, the dads had been bullshitting us about Manitou, and the Wendigo and other Spirits in the forest that could come and get you. A short time later, when we were putting out the fire and getting ready to turn in, out comes dad from the bush, obviously pre-planned, in dirty coveralls and an old goalie mask letting loose a gutteral, primal scream and yanking confusedly on the power cord of an electric chainsaw. Having been hanging around dad all my life, this was pretty par for the course, my friend however, may have shat himself. I still miss old Dad, He’s gone, can’t do nothin bout that. But I’m glad for the time we had and that I had someone to show me how to “fun dad”.

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Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/19/2016 at 15:33

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pictures kinja’d?

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/19/2016 at 20:46

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pic

shop-teacher > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/19/2016 at 22:35

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That’s a great story! Thanks for sharing, and happy father’s day!